Think about the amount of strangers and random people you must come across in one day. Multiply that by the amount of time you’ve actually been alive and you’d be astounded to think about the number of people you’ve actually interacted with, spoken to, had a laugh with or even just made eye contact with throughout your life.
Of course, try as we might to be friends with a lot of people, it would be one big crazy mess trying to maintain friendships with every person you met, so why is it that some people we meet we stick with and become friends for life?
You might get on with them very well; have loads of things in common; have the same sense of humour; like the same foods… it doesn’t actually matter.
What truly matters is that your friends are people who- though they sometimes might get annoyed at you, fallouts might happen, or they can’t take too much of you in one go- love you no matter what. Not like family love, where it kind of has to happen because you’re related. But your mates have met you, decided you were cool, and made the choice to spend more time with you. Even if you dance like a pure dad in clubs… and cry at the most stupid things… and make bad life decisions then blame them for it. They go through all that with you with no (or minimal anyway) complaints.
And to me, that’s the nicest thing in the world.
Having severe anxiety and finding it hard to maintain new friendships- especially now that I’m almost properly into adult life and have gotten used to my routines and structures, I look at people with huge friendship groups and it both terrifies me and makes me a tiny bit jealous.
Not jealous because I don’t have enough friends, but because it makes me feel exhausted just thinking about the amount of time you’d have to invest in keeping in contact with every single person, and I just don’t have that time in my day. Not that I wouldn’t want to… I just personally think I’d be constantly feeling guilty for not having enough time for a certain person, or feeling bad that I’ve had to let people down because of work and University commitments.
I really love the size of my group of friends. I hang out with work mates outside of work, I have friends from uni, some from the gym, some from home and from childhood, and I sometimes even hang about with my boyfriends friends without him. I know that I’m extremely lucky that I’ve been able to bring these different groups of people together, gone on holiday with them, hosted parties where they’ve all been there, and everyone gets along fine! We’re all such big personalities, I wouldn’t have been surprised if even one or two of them didn’t take to each other, but I am so grateful that I can have everyone in the same room and they all gel and there’s no drama!
J and G, two friends I honestly consider family, have been with me through it all. They’ve seen me go through depression, an eating disorder (and they’re fully supporting the recovery process), dealing with boys and immature men, drinking too much on nights out, crying, laughing, rotten karaoke singing… these guys have seen me at my best and at my worst, and I wouldn’t ask for it any other way. They are honest and direct without being hurtful, and they know me inside out. In life, you need friends who you know aren’t going to abandon you, or bitch about you behind your back. The world is too full of horrible people dishing out the negativity to be dealing with it on a daily basis!
L is a workmate who I met last year, and when we both quit our old job, I poached her and we both still work together at a restaurant down the road. She is, the most fun loving person I have ever come across, and she really is the waking, talking definition of someone who doesn’t judge you for anything. Our friendship has escalated quickly since meeting… we’ve seen each other naked, spoken about absolutely anything and everything, and because we share similar hurdles and problems, we aren’t shy or embarrassed about anything. Honoured to be her wing woman, I hold out full hope that I will one day introduce her to her future husband. I’m a strong believer in being able to spill the beans about things… and being able to have one person you can run to after a long day and just word vomit everything that’s happened to you is totally underrated.
It’s so important to be grateful for the friends you have. They are a constant source of positivity and love in your life, whether or not you spend a lot of time together. Somehow, among the billions of people there are in the world, you have gravitated towards each other, and that in itself is a blessing. Don’t take it for granted.