Being strong sucks away so much energy from your body.
It literally drains you, and normally, a good night’s sleep is all it takes for your body and mind to reset and you’re ready to face the new day and be everyone’s confidante, anchor, friend… you name a mould, you are physically and mentally – and figuratively really- able to shift yourself into any shape or character that is required of you.
To my friends I’m a happy, confident person who bites the bullet and goes for whatever I deem worthy to chase down.
At work I’m a hyper waitress who likes a good chat but also knows how to do her job as well… well, it’s really just a case of not dropping food on people right?
At uni I am a hardworking student, on track to get good grades if I put a wee bit more effort in.
At home I’m a flatmate, always ready to clean and tidy the flat, diligent with bills, and never late with rent.
To my brother I am someone who he is able to trust, and someone he can come to for advice whenever he feels like he needs it.
See, our behaviour changes when we’re around different people, and to a certain extent, this is completely normal. I wouldn’t be able to behave around my employer the same way I would act around my friends right? Instant P46 and no redundancy package for you, young lady.
However, when your life gets hectic, you get caught up in a whirlwind of these different roles you take on with different people and you forget about who’s most important.
This week, I found myself PMS-ing OUT. MY. NUT. As in, I have never known mood swings like it in my life.
Sprinkle in a little bit of too-many-hours-at-work-stress, and swirl in the looming threat that is exam period, and what do you get? A great big, quivering, crying, ball of stress.
I get worried and stress easily, I’m the first to admit that, but today, in the library, I had a full on meltdown. I received bad news from my mum a couple of days ago, and I basically haven’t stopped crying since.
Normally, it’s easy for me to save the tears until I’m alone, or at home, where I can ugly-cry to my heart’s content and no one can see or judge me – my ugly crying is on par to that of the viral photo of Kim K – (sorry Kim)
But, when you bottle these feelings and keep it all in, you really do end up exploding like a too-full bottle of tomato sauce. Believe me, it’s not pretty.
(actual footage of a kitchen post tomato-sauce-explosion)
It’s so easy to forget until this outburst of emotion and anger that the number one person in your life-however selfish it may feel- is YOU.
YOU can’t even begin to think about helping others, or working, or studying, going to the gym, socialising, ANYTHING without being healthy, or being able to function properly.
So, when you start to feel a bit under the weather, just f*%$ it all and take some time to do what you want to do. Don’t want to go out to coffee with a mate because you’re knackered from work? Reschedule. Don’t want to study because you’re too exhausted to keep your eyes open? Take a nap. Don’t want to go out partying because you’re skint? Stay in, watch a movie, and slob about in your pyjamas. Hey, treat yourself to a facemask and some ice cream too!
The point is, to be able to be what we want to be to others, whether a friend, family member, work colleague or classmate, we need to take care of ourselves first.
Otherwise, we end up fizzing over.
Like that tomato ketchup bottle.