Personally

The next chapter in my life.

Sooooo, first of all I’d like to thank you guys who loyally follow and read my blog, it means so incredibly much that you take time out of your day to have a little read of what’s going on in my life.

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I have a huge announcement.

But first let me give you the story to how it happened.

Last year, during the hectic time that was semester 1 of my final year of University, I was at the beginning of my journey to recovery from my ED and battling to stay sane and functional every single moment of the day, as well as having to maintain my grades and not flunk out at the last minute.

My main concern other than that? Everyone around me was applying and getting interviewed for grad jobs and planning the next stage of their lives- gearing up for adult life after university and having a great time finally finding jobs that they’d been working so hard over the past 5 years at uni to have.

And me? I could barely think about what I needed to do hour to hour let alone be ready to think about my future. 22 years old and I still had zero idea what I wanted to do with my life.

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I couldn’t bring myself to apply for different jobs, and halfheartedly filled out forms and applications to a few different companies that I’d heard of, but, with my confidence at an all time low and motivation at an equally rocky bottom, I  didn’t even think I’d be able to finish uni, so the chances of a company looking at my CV and actually wanting to hire me were slim (in my mind anyway).

So, my (ir)rational brain did went into fight or flight mode, and obviously, given the circumstances of the time, chose flight.

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I checked my bank account to make sure there was enough to survive, then toddled down to the local STA, where I booked a one-way ticket to AUSTRALIA!!!

That’s right, instead of facing up to adult responsibility I decided I’d have one last adventure, and in two weeks’ time I am jetting off to the land of kangaroos and koalas to explore, as well as finally take some time for myself and reset and recover.

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Of course, the day I bought the ticket just happened to be the day Mr Onebigstressball  spoke to me for the first time, so we have to do long distance again.

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After having to spend 6 weeks apart this summer, it’s heartbreaking to have to do it for 9 months again, but, we know that at the end of it, we will be together and it’ll be worth the pain we need to go through in the short term.

Remembering the long term goal, and knowing we have our future together ahead of us, is the most important thing we have, and will help us through those times we feel at our most vulnerable.

Going to Australia will be challenging, and though the time I am going for went from indefinite to around 9 months, it is time for me to really focus on getting better and to try and regain some confidence in myself. Not fake confidence that is put on everyday in order to fool the world and people around us, but real, solid, self-loving confidence that means I can lead a normal life.

Thinking of going away right now is heartbreaking, but I know that the adventuring, the learning, and being able to learn about another culture (as well as having the chance to have a warm Christmas and my next birthday abroad) will all be part of an opportunity I will never forget.

Also, not having to deal with winter weather until winter 2018 is a bonus.

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C x

2 thoughts on “The next chapter in my life.

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