I am an impatient person.
If I see something on a website or in a shop that I want to buy, I can’t stop thinking about it and make sure I am able to get it as soon as physically and financially possible.
I power walk everywhere because (I am super stingy and will I f*** pay £3 to get somewhere my massive size 6 feet can take me for free) I want to get places as quickly as possible and I’m usually running late anyway so why not?
I get excited for Christmas in June, start planning my birthday in March (it’s at the end of May) and Mr OneBigStressball is probably at his wit’s end because I’m already constantly asking about when we’re going to move in together and planning next year’s summer holiday.
Even with tiny little things I don’t like waiting around. I regularly have food that is slightly on the lukewarm side because I’ve taken it out of the microwave way too early… if chicken was okay to eat without being cooked through I’d probably eat that half raw.
However, working as an au pair, impatience is not a welcome personality trait.
Have you tried getting three children out of the house in one go? It doesn’t work the first time round. One child will inevitably have no shoes on, while another will probably need the loo again.
Have you seen a two year old eat dinner? She’ll want to copy her siblings and feed herself, which is super in the sense that she wants to be independent, but it’ll take every ounce of willpower and deep breathing that you have in you to allow her to do this as it take 10 times longer for her to finish dinner and half of it will end up all over her clothes.
Away from au pair life, patience has been something I’ve really had to work on.
At the gym, I’ve had to stop myself from getting anxious or annoyed at myself when I don’t see progress which I deem as ‘quick enough’, and I’ve had to stop looking in full length mirrors to allow the aesthetic changes in my body happen naturally and not scour over every lump and bump obsessively because I don’t like the way I look.
In my relationship, I’ve had to take a step back and not move things forward as quickly as I want to because I still need to remember that we are both still young and there are so many years down the line for us to make new memories.
In my recovery, I’ve had to learn that one failed day doesn’t mean failure for life, and if I do happen to purge due to feeling like I’ve overeaten or because I feel anxious about food, then I have to adopt the mindset that recovery isn’t an overnight miracle and I have to take it a day at a time.
Patience is so important.
Not only does it force us to slow down in life and not rush into things at 100 miles an hour, but in doing so, it also gives us a chance to enjoy and appreciate that in-between time, where you’ve started a journey, and you haven’t gotten to the end yet.
Watching a two year old drop food on herself might be frustrating, but it’s rewarding to see how happy she is when she finishes eating everything on her plate.
Not making enough progress in the gym is annoying, but now I know how to listen to my body and give it time to recover and reset for a larger weight during the next weights session.
Finding patience within yourself is the hard part, but once you find what works for you, whether that is giving yourself a good talking to (me!), or walking away from certain situations, or even that age-old counting to ten and taking a deep breath process, you’ll soon see that taking things slow and easy isn’t necessarily a bad thing.