So, since being back in Scotland, I’ve gained weight. Not a huge amount, but certainly enough for me to get scared that I was pregnant and then cry for ages at the realisation that it wasn’t a baby in my belly, but jiggle as a result of ice cream.
It’s been because of a number of reasons.
First, Scotland is f****** cold. I haven’t been warm since I got home, and what with the Beast from the East (that mental storm I told you all about) allegedly about to make a third appearance, I don’t think Spring is actually going to be making an appearance at any point soon. This has led to a lot of comfort eating in the evenings, as well as many a bottle of wine being consumed as it’s been way too chilly for us to even want to go out and do fun things.
Second, I am still studying to become a PT, and in the interest of getting it done ASAP, I have been spending all my days off hunched in front of the computer taking notes and preparing for tests. Old habits die hard, and, as was my routine at university, I still can’t seem to study or concentrate without having snacks within easy reach of my work area. Granted, I have changed this habit recently and substituted dry cereal for celery and cucumber sticks, but I really felt the effects of munching down on bowls upon bowls of Cheerios before I decided I needed to get my act together and stop reaching for the comfort food.
Third, I do not have a full-length mirror in my room… or in my house for that matter. That may seem insignificant to you guys, but having a mirror in which I could see my entire body turned out to be a fundamental trigger and played a huge role in my eating disorder and what I turned to every day and spent hours scouring my reflection for signs of even minimal weight gain. Not having one now has been helpful in the sense that I cannot revert back to these awful habits that tore apart my self esteem and sense of self-worth, but on the other hand, because I haven’t seen what I look like, I can feel in the way my clothes fit that I have gained a little podge.
End of the world? No. Good kick up the bum? Definitely.
Fourth. I don’t know how it happened but since Christmas Day 2017 I have had approximately 5 days without a drink of alcohol. Not saying I’ve been drunk every time I’ve drank, but seriously, an alcoholic beverage almost every single day. My liver hates me, my stomach hates me, and I am not proud.
Lastly, I live with my boyfriend. Mr OneBigStressball and I share a love of cookie dough ice cream- something that was difficult to financially keep up with before, as Ben and Jerry’s is ridiculously expensive and we could only ever buy it for ourselves as a mega-treat and only once in a while. Now, we are lovers of that Lidl life, and we have found… wait for it… LIDL BRAND COOKIE DOUGH ICE CREAM THAT TASTES BETTER THAN BEN AND JERRY’S AND IS ALSO LESS THAN HALF THE PRICE. *
Since I’ve been home we’ve had a tub a week between us and I both love it and kind of hate it at the same time because we have no sense of self control.
We decided that it is time to go on a health kick.
No booze (except for this Thursday because we’re going on a spa night that has been planned for over a month and so it’s been scheduled into it already), and no junk food. We’re already pretty good at not eating takeaway food for dinner and make our own food but we’re going to try and cut out buying in Chinese food or curries and planning our dinners properly.
Also, no snacking on rubbish. We just did our first weekly shop since agreeing to go on this health kick, and instead of buying chocolate and other bad-for-you-but-insanely-delicious food, we got rice crackers, more fruit, and snack portions of vegetables.
And that’s it! We’re going to egg each other on, and each isn’t going to let the other succumb to temptation. We’re going into this positively, neither of us has been forced into it, so we both have the motivation. I’ve said no to any more ice cream for the time being, and we’ll see how we get on! 26/03/2018 is the start date. I’ll keep you guys updated on how we feel etc, and let’s see how long we’ll last before we buy a family-size pizza deal and chow down on it all!
*I included a picture of the ice cream I mentioned so you lovely people can go and find it and experience the flavour delight that it is.