Personally · Uncategorized

I’m getting old.

Hey guys!

It’s my birthday tomorrow so I thought I’d write a post ahead of time, as my half marathon is on Sunday and that’ll probably overshadow everything when I write a race report after it!

How do you guys feel about birthdays?

Right up until last year they were my second favourite day of the year (after Christmas of course because everyone knows that Christmas is the best and most amazing day of the entire year). But this year, I’m feeling kind of, well,Β meh.

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Over the last few months I’ve found four grey hairs on my head (for my American readers, yes, that’s how we spell grey here in Europe, sorry, not sorry), and I’ve felt like I haven’t gotten as far in life as I’d really like to be.

But, grey hairs aside, I should really think about the things I’ve achieved, right?

I’ve been through a bloody heck of a lot in my 23 years so far, and every single event has shaped me into the person that I am today. Yeah I cry very easily and feel like I get emotionally affected by a lot of things that don’t bother others, and I’m still recovering from this eating disorder that’s been controlling my life for the best part of two and a half years now, but I am independent, I run my own business, and I’m pretty fucking kick-ass in the gym.

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At 24, I will be a business owner who lives in the big city with her boyfriend who is beautiful both inside and out. I have finally repaired my relationship with my mother- something I didn’t think would ever happen. I’d kind of resigned myself to the fact we’d never really get along, but now we lunch together every fortnight or so, and have started being honest with each other and tried to open up to one another. I am not in the best financial position, but I know a million other people in the world are far worse off than me, and putting it into perspective makes me appreciate that I can put food on the table.

I have so so many goals to smash before I am 25. I have 365 days to blow them out of the water and get to where I want to be in life, but, I’m starting to understand that I need to be less harsh on myself. I need to breathe and realise that it’s okay to fall short on one or two goals if you’ve set yourself 20. It’s not possible to do every single thing you want to do each and every single day- unless you’re crazy focused and can fit into 24 hours a lot more than normal people or don’t need to sleep.

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I’m not going to lie. I’ve been sipping at a very high alcohol percentage beer whilst writing this, and I just want to be a bit mushy and emotional and thank you all for reading my blog and following me throughout the past couple of years. I know I’m not the best writer, but knowing that someone out in that big bad world is reading what I write and getting even just a tiny little something from it makes me happier than you’d ever know.

Also- remember last week I wrote about Hell’s Kitchen?

Mr OneBigStressball went out and bought me ‘birthday wine’ and IT’S ONLY THE WINE THEY USE ON HELL’S KITCHEN!!! He’s studying at the moment, so I can’t open it yet, but seriously, I cannot wait to get tucked into the most product-placed wine on television. That I know of.

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Have a fabulous weekend!

C x

 

6 thoughts on “I’m getting old.

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