I’ve been a bit quieter than normal over the last few weeks since the Edinburgh Half Marathon, and it’s been a bit of a blur if I’m honest. I cannot believe we’re nearing the end of June already, and I feel like time is slipping away me too quickly and I’m not able to enjoy anything to the fullest as I’m always running from one place to another.
I know I wrote a post before about not losing sight of what’s important, and making sure you keep on top of things and prioritise the different parts of your life in the order that you feel they need attention and care, but I let myself fall out of that pattern again, and it turned out to be a horrid decision.
Last month, I quit the job I was working in the pub, not only because the hours were terrible and I felt like I couldn’t get anything done, but also because the management team were incompetent and treated us staff like rubbish.
I went from one job straight into another, neglecting to comprehend just how many days I’d be working, because the manager said the key words during my interview – my shifts would be evening shifts, and I’d not be likely to have to work past 10pm, 11 at the latest.
Skip forwards a few weeks, and I’ve been working 30 hours at the restaurant, 20+ hours at the gym, and training myself on top of this. I hit a wall, and, two days ago, the wall fell on top of me and I felt crushed.
It got to the point where I was trying to survive on 6 hours of sleep or less every single night, and on nights I was able to squeeze a few extra hours in, my body couldn’t cope and was forcing me to be awake for around 90 minutes in the night before I could get back to sleep again. I was plagued with nightmares, which transferred into daytime anxiety, and it became a chore to get out of bed. I started taking my Spin Classes off-bike, as I was too exhausted to take part with the class, and I felt utterly hopeless.
On top of working, I truly had no time to spend with Mr OneBigStressball, who I live with, let alone with any of my friends or family. My weekly lunches with my mum became non-existent, and my social life was in an even worse state.
What had my life become that I was working myself to the bone, and therefore not on top of my game when it came to training people 1 on 1, jeopardising my relationships and becoming an empty, anxious shell of myself?
So, I took the plunge and became an online coach. This will, in time, hopefully give me the time I need aside from working as a Personal Trainer in the gym to do the things I love and want to do, but it will also be another source of income for me. I don’t want to be worried about cash flow and money for the rest of my life- but I also don’t have to be a slave to the hospitality industry to be able to afford the lifestyle I want. A lifestyle that becomes affordable doesn’t necessarily mean it is liveable. What’s the point in having £100 in tip money when you can’t find the time to spend it on a lunch with your mates?
With this new online coaching venture, I truly hope I’ll be able to come away from having to work in the restaurant. The doctor gave me a sick note the other day which has allowed me to take a week off work, and right now, all I’m trying to do is recuperate on sleep, and catch up on things that I like doing, such as writing on here. Maybe the time off will help me shift my perspective and get a grip and handle on my life and where I need it to be going.