The knot in my stomach grows tighter and I fight the urge to cry

My dreams seem unreachable, and my life is slipping by

Panic takes over when small things aren’t in order

Pushing people away from me, every day a little but further

The mask I plaster on my face starts to show its fissures

And each moment I live, I feel more of the pressure

Of being perfect, successful, smart and worthy

And I try, I work hard, I graft, I’m eager to please

But my stomach feels uneasy, I feel other people stare

And whisper and point, and I know I shouldn’t care

Shouldn’t care what they say, what they think or what they have heard

But the comments, they hurt, and my judgement is blurred

A life of put downs, of violence, of darkness

Of feeling unloved, the target of malice

Means the fear is always there, it’s forever a part of me

But one day, I hope, I’ll finally be free.

2 thoughts on “Fear

  1. I once operated under constant pressure from what I thought were ubiquitous critics. In reality, though, each of us just has our own filters, or lenses, and I am now content with doing what I deem right, without needing to please others.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s