The knot in my stomach grows tighter and I fight the urge to cry

My dreams seem unreachable, and my life is slipping by

Panic takes over when small things aren’t in order

Pushing people away from me, every day a little but further

The mask I plaster on my face starts to show its fissures

And each moment I live, I feel more of the pressure

Of being perfect, successful, smart and worthy

And I try, I work hard, I graft, I’m eager to please

But my stomach feels uneasy, I feel other people stare

And whisper and point, and I know I shouldn’t care

Shouldn’t care what they say, what they think or what they have heard

But the comments, they hurt, and my judgement is blurred

A life of put downs, of violence, of darkness

Of feeling unloved, the target of malice

Means the fear is always there, it’s forever a part of me

But one day, I hope, I’ll finally be free.