Poetry

Tired

I’m tired of not feeling good enough;
of fighting a losing battle against
myself, my mind, my thoughts, my feelings.
I’m tired of not living up to expectations,
put on me by both myself and by others.
I’m tired of feeling dejected and judged, of not doing the right thing,
of not earning enough, smiling enough, laughing enough, doing enough goof.
Negativity drowns my thoughts and clouds my days
while hope and positivity seem so impossible to cling on to.
Always just out of reach, barely touching my fingertips,
before disappearing from my grasp.
I’m tired of chasing dreams that don’t seem possible to become reality.
Glimmers of confidence flicker and go out
before I can really register its existence.
Darkness. Darkness is what I feel.
When I drag myself out of my state of fatigue
the darkness follows.
I’m tired of being tired.

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