Well guys, it’s happened.
After 15 weeks off – give or take anyway – I received an email today informing me that I am returning to work on 3rd August.
The surge of anxiety that was accompanied by Mr OneBigStressball’s soundtrack of laughter at the fact that I cannot, it seems, be paid for not working forever, was almost overwhelming, and I swear my heart rate shot up so high my Garmin watch may have thought I was suddenly doing an intense cardio workout.
I’m not going to lie and say that I am totally over the moon about going back to work… I mean, take the last couple of weeks for example – Mr OneBigStressball has woken me up at 8am for breakfast (this is because he cooks enough for the two of us and rarely in the two and a half years we have lived together have we not eaten breakfast together – it was something I was adamant had to continue even if I wasn’t up and getting ready for work), I eat, brush my teeth, go back to bed to read or scroll through social media or if I’m being more honest and realistic, I go back to sleep for a little while. At around half 9/10am, I move from bedroom to living room, clutching my book or Kindle, depending what format my latest book is in, and snuggle into our sofa duvet for a while. Then I prepare lunch for the two of us, which again, we eat together, and at around 4pm I start to feel guilty that my Garmin says I’ve only taken 300 steps, and I do a workout, followed by some writing, then dinner, which again, I am in charge of cooking.
All of this is punctuated by me talking to Mr OneBigStressball, whether it be commenting on something I’ve seen on social media or throwing friendly insults his way, and answering phone calls from various family members who are having a crisis and need my help, and they know I’m not allowed to go to work and therefore have the time to help them.
After dinner is chill out time, but, I mean, it’s not like I really need any more of that, and then it’s bedtime, and the whole process starts again the next day.
Did I say this was the last few weeks?
I lied, it’s been the last few months.
So, I know I have had a good time of it, and that I am extremely lucky to have been working in the company that I currently am employed by when the pandemic happened, otherwise my story could have been a completely different one. I know a heck of a lot of people who haven’t been so fortunate, so I am not complaining in any way.
It’s hard to explain though. It’s like I’ve gotten into this little routine of being in my bubble and doing my own thing… then social distancing measures eased and this bubble kind of grew to include doing some socialising that I hadn’t been able to do in months… and now I’ve officially been asked to go back to work – I feel like this routine I created for myself is now going to have to change right back and I’m going to be totally honest, just thinking of going back to work full time is exhausting!
I know I can do it though, especially because I’m almost certain that I’m going back on reduced hours, so I guess when the time comes I’ll have to take it day by day, and knowing that I have a job to go back to is the most important thing of all right now!
In other news, Scotland’s social distancing measures have eased up to the point now that hotels are starting to open back up and we’re allowed to go and stay at other people’s houses if we want to! For us this means that if we go and visit my mum and brother, Mr OneBigStressball will be able to enjoy a drink with his dinner as he won’t have to worry about driving us back to Edinburgh, and we have also booked a little staycation next week (a little treat to sweeten the blow of going back to work!) I’ve been seeing a lot more of my friends now that we don’t have to fear breaking any rules, and I feel like life is beginning to make tracks towards getting back to normal… or a new normal anyway!
Hope everyone is having a great week!